Looking to IVF # 2

Our first IVF cycle failed. We are hurting pretty bad. It was one of the most crushing phone calls I have ever received. We had tried to prepare ourselves because we had gotten negative pregnancy test, but even though I knew, the phone call still hurt. I am grieving for the three babies that were transferred. I had gotten attached to them and for the week between my transfer and the negative Beta test, I was pregnant. I had three embryos living and growing inside of me and now they are gone. It really hurts.

But, we are trying to stay strong and hopeful for the next cycle. In a couple of weeks when the pain of the loss wears off we will meet with Dr. Storment to talk about what went right, what went wrong and what changes we can make for our next cycle to be successful. We are hoping to try again sometime over the summer.

Transfer

Yesterday I had the transfer. All went well. They ended up transferring all three of our embryos. They were all three at the early blast stage and they couldn't really tell which ones were the healthiest so they transferred all three of them. I asked Dr. Storment what the chance of triplets was and he said very little, less than 1 %.

It was really neat seeing pictures of them and watching them be inserting into my uterus on ultrasound. Let's just hope at least on sticks!

So, here's the funny part...I was instructed to come with a full bladder for the transfer, and I took my orders seriously. I drank a whole bunch of water on the way, not knowing that once I got there I would have to wait almost an hour for the transfer. I had to go so bad, I asked if I could empty my bladder, then drink to fill it back up. The Nurse said I could empty half of my bladder, then drink to fill it back up. I knew there would be no way to stop once I got going so I just decided to hold it. By the time the transfer came, I was hurting. Dr. Storment looked at the Ultrasound and said, man, your bladder is full! So, after the transfer he drained my bladder with a catheter so I could rest more comfortably (you have to lay flat for 30 mins before they let you up). So there I was, spread eagle, on the table, while he drained my bladder in front of Kenny and about 3 other nurses and such. After about a minute everyone started laughing at how long it was taking. Dr. Storment even made an Austin Powers reference! Good thing I lost all shame and dignity about a billion vaginal ultrasounds ago!!!

Transfer pushed back to Saturday

As of yesterday all three embryos were still going strong. All had made it to 8 cells. Transfer will be tomorrow. They will be transferring 2, which means if all three make it we will have to freeze one. I will be on bed rest all weekend, fun! At least Kenny will be off so I won't be alone.

Our Embryos

All three of our embryos are doing great! 2 have made it to 4 cells, and 1 is at 2-cells. They are all a grade 1, which is the best they can be. I was glad to get the phone call, because last night I had a dream that one of them didn't make it. If they are all still going strong tomorrow, they will transfer on Saturday, if we only have two left tomorrow they will do the transfer then. I am so hopeful that this is it, and one or two of these will grow and be our baby/babies:)

Retrieval

Yesterday's retrieval went pretty well. I was a little sore afterward and it hurt to walk around, but I made through and am feeling much better today, still a little soreness, but nothing I can't handle. I was worried about being put to sleep, but it was really no big deal. It just felt like I took a little nap. Dr. Storment said when they woke me I hoped off the operating table like I champ. I have no memory of that, when I got to the room I remember asking the nurse, "How did I get in this bed" haha. Dr. Storment said I was his star patient of the day:)

So the important part...
They were able to get 5 eggs (a little low for my age, but I was on different medicine than most, because I ovulated through the "normal"med they used, so that may be why. Of the 5 eggs, 4 were fully mature. They embryologist called today and said of the 4, 3 were fertilized and doing well. They will have a better idea tomorrow about how they are dividing. It was a little emotional of a phone call. Those embryos are my babies! One (or two) may actually end up being my child/children. It is a really strange feeling. It feels like I am attached to them already and if they don't make it, it will feel almost like losing a child or miscarrying. If you are reading this, please say a prayer for them.

Because there are only three, it will more than likely be a three day transfer, so they will be placed back on Thursday. That means Thursday and Friday I will be on bed rest. Not looking forward to it, but what ever it takes to keep those babies healthy!!

Here is a picture of me before the retrieval at the hospital (before the drugs, lol)...

We're getting close!!!

Today I went for more Labs and pre admitted at the hospital. I am thinking Monday. Things were great with the labs. I was worried about my uterine lining because I was spotting, but it only had to be at and 8, and it was at a 12! Nice and thick for those little embryos to implant. My mom came with me. "Are you getting excited? " she asked as we were leaving. The truth is, I'm having a hard time getting excited. We've been trying for so long and been through so much it's hard to believe there may be a baby at the end of this. I am really just so hopeful. I think it won't feel real until I see a heart beat.

UPDATE

I had more blood work done today. All is well! He left me at 100iu of follistim and 1 amp of menopur. I still haven't started the Ganirelix, that will more than likely be Thursday when I go in for more blood work. Estimated ER is Tuesday, and we are hoping for a 5 day transfer.

Last post I mentioned a little bit of constipation. OMG is it hurting! I am so bloated I feel like a Kentwood Water Jug! Digesting food is so painful I have been limiting myself to small meals only. The nurse said I could take something for it, so hopefully a stool softener will help. The cramps are the worst!

On a non-fertility related note-Wednesday I will have been married to the love of my life for three years:) These have been the most wonderful three years, and I can't wait to see how our love grows when we are finally able to add to our little family.

Things are coming along:)

I started my inject-able stims Friday. It hasn't been too bad. The menopur burns going in, but the follistim is a snap (it can in a pen, how handy!). The only side effects I had had are gas and constipation (I know, TMI, but this blog is so I can always remember what I went though and share it with my child). I have also been a little on the tired side, but nothing I can't handle. I should be on these shots for 10-14 days then I will have the egg retrieval (my first time being sedated, I'm a little scared), and the transfer 3-5 days after that. I am praying for a Christmas miracle! Here's a pic of the supplies for my nightly routine...