WHY??

I've been wanting to write this post since Sunday but haven't had the time. Sunday morning was business as usual breakfast, then church. After worship right before the sermon there was one word written on the screen in very large letters...

WHY

I knew what the topic would be. Even more than that I knew it was meant for me to hear. You know how sometimes you can read a bible passage, or hear a church service and you just feel every word in your heart and you just KNOW you were meant to hear it? This was one of those moments. I teared up almost immediately. Kenny put his hand on my knee, which I took as his way of letting me know he felt it too.

Why DO bad things happen? If bad things happened to bad people then it would make sense. But why would someone who LOVES the Lord and is a truly good person have horrible things happen to them? Death of a child, sickness, and of course...infertility.

I think when you are going through trials it is natural to ask God why. I have done this too many times to count! And yet, I have no answers. I have had many people give me reasons that they think we are going through this..."it's not the right time" "God is teaching you a lesson" "maybe you're meant to adopt". None of those words brought be any degree of peace. Likewise none of the reasons I have come up with on my own have brought be peace. In reality none of us know why bad things happen. They just do.


I have come to the realization that it doesn't matter why. Maybe I'm not meant to know, or maybe one day I really will figure it out. In the mean time I am just going to love the Lord in the midst of the battle and take comfort in the fact that he is right there with me every step of the way.